I Would've Asked For Your Number

"...and I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling and asking, 'How about coffee, drinks, dinner, and a movie for as long as we both shall live?' "

I watched too many chick flicks last night. I was up until 5 watching You've got Mail (which is where I got the quote above), Love Actually, & Father of the Bride. I remember doing the same thing last year around this time. Maybe it's an I-Get-Cuddly-Around-Christmas thing. Meh. Either way, it reminded me of a blog I had written a little under 2 years ago. Excuse the horrible grammar:

♥ Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005

i've decided that relationships are giving someone the power to completely destroy you... but trusting them not to. its a risk. anyway u look at it, ur risking something. it could be dignity... it could be a friendship. it could be a lot of things. either way tho, u gain some strength from this person because of the courage it took to let them in. the bottom line is: anyone can hate. hating is easy. its LOVING someone that takes courage. all of the vulnerabilities within us leak out and for once... we aren't in control. they are.

in a perfect world, we'd all be capable of loving like we've never been hurt. SOOO much of what goes wrong in relationships is because of hesitation. hesitation come from fear. fear comes from pain. its like a vicious cycle with no end in sight. i guess u could say its like walking around in a pitch black field... u have no idea where you're headed or where it ends. Human nature forces us to fear the unknown. you wont run full speed because you're not sure what you'll run into.. or fall into. the same goes with relationships. its a stupid way to look at things tho. i mean really now... at some point in our lives, we're all gonna get hurt. its inevitable.. there's no avoiding it. like i said in a previous blog... breaking the heart of someone u care about is just as hard as getting your heart broken. at least for me it is.

so basically.. we aren't looking for someone who WONT break our hearts because it'll happen anyway. we're lookin for someone who'll be worth it. i think. i reckon that now would be a good time to quote that dead guy (aka Lord Alfred Tennyson) with "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." how ever so true. every word of it. gimme insight. agree with me. steer me. enlighten me. correct me. whatever. just... say something.

So there you go. Relationships from the view of a 17 year old punk-butt. I need to keep that entire thing handy. I haven't been particularly smart in making decisions lately, regarding my love life.

Oh, and I looked up that Alfred Tennyson guy that everyone's always quoting. That particular quote ("tis better to have loved... blah blah blah") is from a long ass poem he wrote back in 1859 called In Memoriam A.H.H. (grrrreat poem, you can read the full version here). Anyway, moral of the story... I lose. There really is no point to this blog, I was just bored and thought I'd share my insanity with you kids.

On a happier note: I finally registered for next quarter's classes. I've decided to take nothing but night classes so that I could take that B of A job. Here's Spring 2007 a la Crystal:

• Monday 7-10 pm Intro to Painting (RC Campus)
• Tuesday 7-10 pm English Composition (Fontana Campus)
• Wednesday 7-10 pm Intro to painting (RC Campus)
• Thursday 7-10 pm Human Sexuality (RC Campus)
• Online Course: Dying and Death

There's my 12 units. I'm excited for that Dying and Death class, but I'm a little bummed they didn't have a normal class time scheduled for it. This online course thing could turn out to be a royal pain in my ass. I was doing some thinking earlier and I figured that at the rate I'm going I could be out of Chaffey by the summer of 2008 and hopefully transferring to San Diego State or the University of La Verne the following quarter. Go team Me.

Wait... 2012-ish Graduation? shit.