"Antes que me muero..."

I want to:

1. visit every continent
2. learn to surf
3. host & cook thanksgiving dinner for my family
4. sell a painting
5. party at the playboy mansion
6. live in a downtown apartment (frisco or L.A.)
7. receive a heart-melting love letter
8. own a 2-story house with a pool
9. throw a 50+ guestlist birthday party
10. celebrate new years eve in time square
11. have healthy babies
12. single-handedly organize a community service event
13. get a tattoo
14. save someone's life
15. watch the lion king on broadway
16. spend too much money in vegas
17. make LOTS more girl friends
18. force damian & marcos into bridesmaid dresses
19. go on a roadtrip with no predetermined destination
20. run a marathon
21. graduate from a 4-year university
22. become a bartender
23. get back into the habit of using proper grammer and punctuation when typing
24. adopt a homeless dog
25. feel overwhelmed by the love of an honest man

im finally over my horrible cold and the pain in my arm from the tetanus shot is gone. unfortunately, jordans sicker than a dog now. oops.

im getting my 'ish together. im doing better in school, things with jordan are good again, i'm home more often, and i've stopped procrastinating on the little things that i've been putting off for ages. i'm finally getting a new pair of glasses later this week. that's been bugging me for a whiiiiile now. according to dad, the divorce should be finalized by my birthday which means bombieeeee 20th birthday party, a new car, and my tiffany ring. say it with me now: "huzzah!"

it's 2:49 in the morning. i have 2 papers due tomorrow at 7:00 p.m.

yikes. peacesauce nukkas <3

you know what's weird?

i'll tell you whats weird. LIFE is weird.

my day went from bad... to worse... to absolutely horrible... to hopeful. that usually means good, though, because i take pride in the fact that there are so very few people who can leave a bad situation feeling hopeful. i feel like a large part of society has just stopped feeling that emotion in particular. we've all gotten into the habit of walking around either completely happy, completely sad, or content with the situation at hand ("this is the way it's going to be forever and i can deal with it"). We're never just hopeful... never just thinking to ourself "meh, things aren't great right now but they'll get better because I want them to get better."

nobody does that anymore. instead of just dealing with a problem and taking it for what it is i feel like we should actually THINK about exactly whats making us unhappy about our job, life, relationship... WHATEVER. just fix it. talk about it. do whatever it takes... justdon't settle. don't ever just settle. we americans in particular have all the resources in the world to pull ourselves out of the worst slump imaginable. we could be at the very bottom of society, completely alone, ready to die and STILL pull ourselves up and out of it as long as we had the WILL and the HOPE to do so. Everything gets better if you decide to MAKE it better.

maybe i'm just young... but i feel like if i really wanted to do something, as cliche as it sounds, the only thing that could stop me is myself. i just wish everybody else felt like that.

meh, thats all i have for tonight. my random rant. now go tell someone you love them. no, better yet... go and SHOW someone you love them :]