... so it must be true.
I just got off the phone with Sam from Jumping Jacks. I start next week. I've decided to fill in the gaps that I have between school and UPS so that I could make ends meet. I don't think I can get any more stressed than I already am. Lack of money stresses me out. Lack of time no longer stresses me out. I've kind of moved past that part of my life. I read a blog from a while back where I said that my main goal in life was to have fun. I understand where I was coming from, but that's definitely not where I'm at anymore.
Right now, I want to achieve the things that I've always wanted to achieve. I want to get straight A's in college. I want to be able to pay my bills. I want to get into a good college after Chaffey. I was addicted to my social life and, now, I really don't care for it. I mean, don't get me wrong... I love my friends... I just don't surround my life around them like I did before. I'm finally taking the steps to better MY life instead of focusing on how to intermingle it with the lives of others and how to squeeze myself into that perfect best friend. I still want to be a part of my friend's lives, I just can't be that constant that I used to be. I will not be at every (or most) parties. I won't be able to go to dinner on the nights they plan to. I can't dedicate myself to a weekly tradition. I can't really do any of that. And I'm not upset about it.
In fact, I'm excited about it. I've never felt more sure of myself. 3 months ago I was going through that whole "life isn't fair, why should I have to work 2 jobs through college, blah blah." Now I'm welcoming the experience. I'll be able to tell my kids the story of how I picked myself up from the lowest point in my life and came out a better, more successful person than I ever was. I know I'm going to make it through this with flying colors. I'm going to be that role model for my younger cousins that I wish I'd had growing up.
Just watch.
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2 comments:
Full support your way, babycakes. I will definitely miss your accessibility to the max, but I know that you can stick to any plan you set for yourself, and it will make you so HAPPY! What's more enjoyable than being completely proud of yourself? I'll always be here in the end!! AND, since you are working so effin hard right now, that just means when you need relax time, you will enjoy it that much more. So don't forget to invite me on those nights off when you do decide that you need a fucking snakebite and a dinner and a movie night. (I still say we should have a night where we cook several dishes made to resemble penii). This blog entry makes me sad, yet proud. But, but, but.... beach soon? Hope school is going well. xo.
This is great info to know.
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